Ultimate RollerCon 2015 Preview: The Big Bouts

If it's on Track 1, it's a game worth watching. Find out the full main event schedule and how to secure reserved seating for the REALLY big games!
The boys line up after the Chippendales vs. Magic Mike game at RollerCon 2014.
The boys line up after the Chippendales vs. Magic Mike game at RollerCon 2014.

Five days. Two full-time competition tracks. The scrimmage track. A banked track. A metric ass-load of roller derby.

That’s what RollerCon offers to skaters and spectators alike, and for 2015 things will be bigger and better than ever. If you’re coming to Las Vegas to watch some derby, whether you want to cheer on your friends in a fun themed game or are a neutral that just wants to see the best players in high-level competition, you won’t be lacking options.

All games on the two competition flat tracks are open to all RollerCon pass holders. There has always been a mix of 30-minute challenges and 60-minute bouts during the week, but this year the schedulers made a very helpful change.

Every full-length game, all 20 of them, will be played on Track 1 exclusively. This will prevent overlapping of featured contests, which forced people to make some tough decisions in previous years. That problem is now gone, so you can see all the big flat track games without major conflicts.

However, since the featured games will be popular—some more popular than others—finding a seat may be tricky if you’re not camping out in advance.

Last year at the Riviera, skybox tickets were available for purchase, which guaranteed a seat for a particular game. This year at the Las Vegas Convention Center, the skyboxes are gone, but the reserved seating is not.1 A grandstand seat with your name on it is available to purchase for every full-length game.

RollerCon is making 300 reserved tickets available for each (plus about 650 general seats and the standing areas around Track 1). The cost will be $10 on the floor, or slightly less than $10 if purchased online in advance. The best part: All monies raised through reserved ticket sales goes to charity! Even if you think you can get a good seat without paying for it, consider plunking down a 10-spot anyway. You’ll be doing some good!

Here is the full rundown of all of the featured bouts happening on Track 1. Each will have a direct link to its corresponding ticket page if you want to score reserved access. If there’s a game you’re dying to see, you’d better grab a seat before they sell out—if they haven’t already!

RollerCon 2015 Track 1 Full Bouts

Wednesday, July 22

10:30 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
Grease vs. The Sound of Music (A Level/Female)
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1:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Blood & Thunder vs. fiveonfive (A Level/Female)
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It’s an all-out magazine WAR!2 The founding magazine of the Women’s Roller Derby World Cup and the official magazine of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association will each field a team, and each has an ax to grind.

It’s finally time to settle the controversy of B&T trying to make alterations to WFTDA rules for the 2014 World Cup without anyone’s permission, only for the WFTDA to eventually adopt the shorter penalties B&T proposed in the first place. Who gets credit?! Who will be to blame?!? This game could get UGLY!!!

4:30 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.
Decade of Derby: Double Tweet vs. Take Knee
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RollerCon is 10 years old! To celebrate this milestone, the old fogies of the community will play in a very special game. All of the rostered players on both teams have been playing roller derby since even before there was a RollerCon, or even a WFTDA, and are still playing today.

Fittingly, the team names hark back to a time when everyone thought it was a good idea for there to be two separate start whistles and knee-down starts to force the second one to happen. Don’t worry, though: This game will be played under modern rules.

6:45 p.m. – 8:45 p.m.
The 2nd Annual Roller Derby All-Star Game
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Wednesday’s main event is all about the all-stars. As chosen by fans, some the best derby skaters playing the game today will take to the track for an East vs. West battle for regional supremacy.

Last year at RollerCon, the East All-Stars beat the West All-Stars 303-244. This was despite most of the East’s top 14 not being able to make the trip out. As you can see from the participating (starred) players on the rosters, that’s the case this year, too. Then again, that’s not really a handicap when you have a list like this to fill gaps in the roster.

If this game is anything like the inaugural event was last year, it will be a hell of a lot of fun. If you missed it, turn on your time circuits and go back to it with our RollerCon 2014 Video Diary.

Thursday, July 23

10:30 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
Colorado vs. California (A Level/Female)
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1:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Chupacabras Peligrosas vs. Team SeXY (Female vs. Male)
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The “War of the Sexes” is back for its eighth iteration, with Demanda Riot leading a group of dangerous ladies against Justice Feelgood Marshall and his sexy SeXY men. It’s the only game of its kind at RollerCon, and is secretly the best that will happen all weekend. Co-ed games are great and awesome and all, but there’s just something about a high-level boys vs. girls game that commands your attention.

4:30 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.
Michael Jackson vs. Prince (A Level/Co-ed)
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6:45 p.m. – 8:45 p.m.
Bitch Please vs. Side Eye (AB Level/Co-ed)
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You may not realize the significance of this game from just the funny team names. It’s quite historic, actually: This will be first with rosters “composed entirely of black skaters from the BRDN (Black Roller Derby Network).” There are some pretty big names on the teams including of Erin Jackson (Jacksonville) and Freight Train (Texas), but the full roster has representation from leagues far and wide. Pretty damn cool!

Friday, July 24

10:30 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
Riedell vs. Antik (A Level/Co-ed)
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Friday at RollerCon is when the level of competition starts to seriously ramp up. Nowhere will this will be more obvious than the annual battle between top-tier skate makers. Team captain Jackie Daniels and her fellow Riedell Superstars will take on Quadzilla and his crew of Antik experts “in the sponsor bout that tops them all.” Will your next purchase be influenced by the final outcome?3

1:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Drag Kings vs. Drag Queens (A Level/Co-ed)
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4:30 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.
Magic Mike vs. Chippendales (A Level/Male)
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There is something about the 2014 iteration of this game that I will never forget. It isn’t the appropriate male-stripper getups that all the players wear, nor how last year’s game raised over $1,000 to aid in the fight against prostate cancer.

Not those things. This.

With a bunch of nearly-naked men playing in front of an audience that is thoroughly female, the pheromones were flying and the estrogen was boiling over. The atmosphere was so charged with sex, my tongue [xxxxxxxxCENSOREDxxxxxxxx].4

Things will be twice as hot in 2015. Last year the Swayzes and the Tatums only had a challenge bout time slot, the majority of which was spent, uh…performing for the ladies to collect tips for charity. This year they’ll get the full monty, complete with a halftime show that “promises to be glorious.” Make it rain!

6:45 p.m. – 8:45 p.m.
Vagine Regime vs. Caulksuckers (A Level/Female)
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It’s the main event of RollerCon’s main events, and this year it’s destined to be legendary. What went down in the United States of America just a few short weeks ago was a historic victory for the LGBT community, and for many playing roller derby today by extension. This was the scene at last year’s game; imagine what it will look like next weekend!

Needless to say, emotions will be high.5 This is going to be a special, special event—which will have some kick-ass ladies playing some high-level roller derby.

It’s ironic, isn’t it? At face value, this is a game that literally pits Gay vs. Straight. In many other contexts, that would sound a bit troubling. In roller derby? It’s cool. We have cheerleaders in vagina costumes.

Saturday, July 25

10:30 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
Regulation WFTDA Game
Arizona vs. Richmond (Bay Area)
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This is the day at RollerCon where the full bouts turn vanilla. The superteams and funny themes get pushed to the side in favor of actual roller derby teams playing in actual games that actually mean something. In previous years, as many as four WFTDA teams and three MRDA teams played in sanctioned contests, with a majority of the big ones happening on Saturday.

However, this year only two WFTDA teams (Arizona, Dallas) and a local league team from a third (Bay Area’s Richmond) made the trip to Las Vegas. They’ll play in a round-robin, with Tent City facing the Wrecking Bells in the morning game.

1:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Regulation USARS-Rules Game
USARS Rules Showcase (Co-ed)
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USA Roller Sports is back for the third straight year, featuring an all-American Red vs. Blue mixer played under USARS Roller Derby Rules. It will be the first time USARS will host a regulation co-ed game at RollerCon.

When boys and girls take the track together in USARS play, an extremely fun game is more likely to happen than not. Last year’s USARS co-ed challenge bout was a bit of a dud, but the two full-length co-ed scrimmages at USARS Nationals last year were crazy good and very close.

This game will be probably be your last chance to check out the USARS style of play before its national tournament in Philadelphia this September. If the banked track at RollerCon isn’t enough to satisfy your curiosities about alternate forms of roller derby, maybe the USARS game will. If you grab our Flat Track/Banked Track Rules and Strategy Guide, you’ll note that RDCL and USARS derby have more similarities than differences—including the enthusiasm of the skaters playing them!

4:30 p.m. – 6:30 p.m.
Sanctioned WFTDA Game
Arizona vs. Dallas
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The only sanctioned WFTDA game of RollerCon 2015. Both of these teams are safely into the Division 1 playoffs, though in the lower half of the top 40. This game will not affect their standings heading into tournament season—but it will influence their rankings for 2016.

Arizona is ranked #31 in WFTDA and 8-5 on the year. It looked good in big wins against Brewcity (299 pt. win), Sacred City (+151), Naptown (+147), Calgary (+131) and over Wasatch twice (+103/+30). The team is still far behind the top tier of the WFTDA, though, with mega losses against Rat City (-239), Arch Rival (-347) and Denver (-446).

Dallas is looking better, ranked #24 and sitting at 9-1. Their only loss of the year thus far was against Arch Rival (-134) in May. For all you triangulators out there, Dallas beat Calgary twice (+198 at home, +141 away) and Brewcity once (+148) in other common opponents.

Flat Track Stats is giving a the Derby Devils about an 80% chance of beating Arizona in this neutral-site game. Maybe they’ll see each the in the playoffs, too?

7:15 p.m. – 8:45 p.m.
Regulation WFTDA Game
Dallas vs. Richmond (Bay Area)
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Sunday, July 26

10:30 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
Australia vs. Canada (Co-ed)
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The final day of RollerCon big bouts has an international flair. Traditionally, teams representing the Commonwealth make the trip to the States each year, with the Aussies and the Canucks playing against pick-up USA teams along with each other. In fact, Australia will play an American team in a challenge bout immediately following this game. It’s like a miniature World Cup!

1:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Donkey Punchin’ Kangaroos vs. Kung Fu Pandas (A Level/Co-ed)
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4:30 p.m. – 6:30 p.m.
USA vs.’Merica  (A Level/Co-ed)
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For our friends that are not native United States citizens, this game will take a bit of explaining. While “U.S.A.” and “America” are acceptably interchangeable, the term ‘Merica (see also: MURICA) means quite something else. These two pictures of The Sheagle, a roller derby player herself, should make plain the difference.

This is America:

…and this is ‘Merica:

One is American, the other is ‘Merican. Which better represents the U.S.A.? The both do! Because America. Fuck yeah!

6:30 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.
Riviera vs. The LVCC (AB Level/Co-ed)
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It’s the last call for RollerCon 2015, and the perfect game to wrap up the event’s first year at the Las Vegas Convention Center. The Riviera left us all too soon, but it’s going to a better place. So is RollerCon—or so we’re being told.

By the end of the weekend, we’re all going to have opinions on the LVCC and whether or not the move to a larger space and the extra capacity and amenities that brings is worth the inconvenience of being further separated from the hotel and a (potentially) less-quirky atmosphere at the Totally-Not-A-Vagina pool.

Sure, RollerCon is going to be awesome no matter what happens. But a lot of people really liked the Riviera and everything that space represented. Soon it will be pounded to dust, like all the relics of Old Las Vegas that came down before it. But before that happens, this game will give the Riv one last hurrah. Go Crazy Girls!